One of the greatest gifts a parent receives and gives is love of his or her children. That blood bond and that innate tenderness to nurture has inspired almost every single parent to act devotedly and patiently day in and out, and occasionally in heroic ways. However, if you as a parent has not cultivated sufficient emotional maturity and self care, worry can be your constant or frequent companion.
What do you worry about your child? Is it their health, their safety, their academic performance, their extra curricula performance, their livelihood, their happiness, or else? Whatever it is, these are the “good things” you want them to access and enjoy. And for many parents, they want these things more earnestly and intensely for their children than for themselves
What is going on when you worry about your child?
Whenever you worry, haven’t you noticed that there are underlying beliefs such as “there is something wrong with where they are”, “something bad will happen to them, or “things will not go the way I want for them”?
When a child is physically sick, or mentally emotionally challenged, or struggling with learning, or engaging in activities that are of high risk, or in an environment that is not safe, or under the influence of unconscious habits, or in an unsettling relationship, or financially insecure...the list can go on and on, it is very understandable for a parent to feel worried. When the feeling of worry arises, “Heaven” and “Hell” can ensue depending on how you interpret the feeling and how you respond to it. I personally have wrestled with worry for a very long time. In the most recent years I have been blessed to see the truth about it and be able to respond accordingly, which not only set me free, but enabled me to assist those whom I worried about more powerfully than ever. If you are reading these words, I trust you have enough interest to want to know the truth about worry, and to learn to interact with it wisely and consciously.
When worry arises, what does it tell us? A few things.
Worry is an indication that deep down we don’t feel safe and secure ourselves. There is nothing wrong with it. It is part of our growth journey. This lack of safety can usually be traced back to our childhood when there was intensely negative or unpleasant feelings involved and we weren’t comforted. Later it was compounded with other memories of negativity.
Worry also reveals that we don’t fully believe that the Universe is always at our back, and that everything is ordained by the Universe to help us expand and evolve. This may have to do with the fact that growing up we were disappointed by those that have authority over us, therefore lost our faith and trust in Life and in Love.
When we worry about a child or any other loved one, it is clear that we want the best for them. The irony is, when we worry, we are not “ok” or “at our best”. In other words, we think the other is in more danger or more in need of help, and yet we couldn’t see that we are the one that needs help the most because worry already had us at the moment. In that disempowered state, how can we help the other? We couldn’t until we regain our power and clarity.
When we worry about a child, we look for “what’s wrong in their life” or “what’s wrong in the moment”, and we interpret everything that is happening in a negative or limiting view. Something happens in a child’s life, the child may not look or feel ok, and we, instead of being the true liberator, we joined the child by becoming the victim of the happening or circumstance as well.
Is the happening or circumstance the cause of our worry? You know it is not. Because if that is true, then the cause and the solution will be outside of us, which renders us powerless. In reality we are created to be sovereign beings endowed with divine power and freedom. We are not designed to be victims of circumstances or anything outside of us. Rather, we are made to be the transformer and liberator of all because our nature is Light and Love. Then what is the cause of worry? One of the most authentic explanations I received and continue to experience to be true is, worry along with other undesirable emotions, are what we took on from our parents or upbringing to help awaken and heal the collective unconsciousness. They are not ours to begin with, and yet they can be utilized for our benefit and the benefit of all once we learn how to perceive it and how to respond to it in light of the truth.
How do we respond when we find ourselves worrying?
First of all, recognize that the things we worry about is not true, at least not for the moment. Why? Because it doesn’t feel good in the body. The body is an honest reflection of whether a thought is true or not. The better the body feels, the truer is the thought.
Then, recognize that the moment you worry about a loved one, it is you that need the most comfort and help. I suggest you sit down or set yourself in a relaxing position, take a few slow soft breaths, put a hand on your heart if you can, and be your own intimate companion and support for the moment. If your innocence asks for words of consolation, you may say things such as “I love you”, “It is ok”, “I hear you”, or whatever your heart yearns to hear at the moment.
You may voice your feelings honesty. This honest admission is an act of self love, for you give your innocence the space to be heard. At the same time, you are breaking the cycle of repressing bottled up feelings.
You may enlist the help of the Universe by admitting how you feel, what you don’t know how to do, and ask the Universe to do on your behalf what you feel you can’t do. This will help relax your nervous system, calm you down, make you feel safer, and allow your heart to be open to receive the resources that will best help you.
Last but not least, bless the child you worry about with the most amazing help, protection, inspiration, and whatever you think might benefit them the most. Send them the light and love, ask enlightened beings above and below to assist them in their journey. Being an active participant of the orchestration of universal plan is a powerful and fun game to play with. It helps us expand our heart and step more joyfully into our divine power.
I invite you to experiment with these practices that contain the seeds to set you free from worry. And I would love to hear from you if you are moved to share your experiences.